The Eleventh Commandment
Never go shopping with women. If in doubt, shoot yourself in the foot, then decide. If still in doubt, try a bottle of arsenic, then decide. If still in doubt (or on earth), shoot yourself.
That's what I discovered when a few of us went shopping over Thanksgiving. It's not that I have anything against women, it's just that it is so damn frustrating to watch them shop.
This is probably what goes through a woman's mind while shopping:
"Will this turquoise top go with my fawn trousers. I don't think it'll go with my beige jacket - what do you think"
this is what a guy thinks:
Guy: "Jeans...grunt....blue....good. Shirt....pink....bad"
That's it. Snap decision. No point walking around a store a zillion times. Now you know why they call it "shop till you drop". Walking aimlessly around the same places time and time again - you've gotta be kidding!
So, if you have the misfortune of being stuck on such a shopping spree - my suggestion is to take a small book to while away the time: "War and Peace" and "A Suitable Boy" readily spring to mind. For the more optimistic ones amongst you - the Harry Potter collection is a good start.
The only thing worth buying according to me are - toys and food(In precisely that order). Clothes are just a pain. You've got to try them on, see if they match, see that you're not going to make an absolute ass of yourself wearing it. Too much pressure.
With toys - its easy - I like it, I get it. Which is why a Lego set is ALWAYS a good present for a guy at any age. (Someone actually gave me one when I was 16!). If its fancy, its good. Food - that's one decision made by by an organ below the neck for sure. (The stomach - what were you thinking?).
Of course, food shopping here can be a touch annoying - the number of decisions to be made is just staggering. But that's another story.
That's what I discovered when a few of us went shopping over Thanksgiving. It's not that I have anything against women, it's just that it is so damn frustrating to watch them shop.
This is probably what goes through a woman's mind while shopping:
"Will this turquoise top go with my fawn trousers. I don't think it'll go with my beige jacket - what do you think"
this is what a guy thinks:
Guy: "Jeans...grunt....blue....good. Shirt....pink....bad"
That's it. Snap decision. No point walking around a store a zillion times. Now you know why they call it "shop till you drop". Walking aimlessly around the same places time and time again - you've gotta be kidding!
So, if you have the misfortune of being stuck on such a shopping spree - my suggestion is to take a small book to while away the time: "War and Peace" and "A Suitable Boy" readily spring to mind. For the more optimistic ones amongst you - the Harry Potter collection is a good start.
The only thing worth buying according to me are - toys and food(In precisely that order). Clothes are just a pain. You've got to try them on, see if they match, see that you're not going to make an absolute ass of yourself wearing it. Too much pressure.
With toys - its easy - I like it, I get it. Which is why a Lego set is ALWAYS a good present for a guy at any age. (Someone actually gave me one when I was 16!). If its fancy, its good. Food - that's one decision made by by an organ below the neck for sure. (The stomach - what were you thinking?).
Of course, food shopping here can be a touch annoying - the number of decisions to be made is just staggering. But that's another story.
posted by Firebringer at 4:20 PM
11 Comments:
I'm enraged by the generalization- enraged that women are vain enough to let a silly little thing like shopping take over them so completely.
But i've been blessed enough to witness a concise shopping carried out by one of the female species.
i went out 'shopping' last week ... call it my debut. went, asked, looked, found, bought.
spent most of the time in a restaurant :D
acp to lego .. i miss me set :((
read the one by Sidin ?
i stand accused. :P
but i also see the flip side...never go shopping with MEN...unless you want to get security called on you because one of your assheaded friends decided to steal the cleaning lady's squeegee and kick it under your feet just in time for her to come over and start cursing you in Russian.
plus...guys always head straight to EB games...and promptly stay there for about three hours on end. so i'm not sure about the whole "male shopping is shorter" thing.
one plus point about guys though: they buy your lunch :D
agree with +m+......hate going shopping with ppl who dont know their beige from mauve!!!..
...in another unrelated event...how hve u been?
i've never gone shopping with guys. ofcorz, my dad has given me lift but has always stayed on to criticize the next-gen fashion ideas.
beige and mauve ?
the only way to differentiate them is by their wavelength values :p
that might be wat an enggr does. all guys dont do that. i wudnt shop wid a guy even if u paid me to!
Shopping is a bloody pain in the ***!!!!
sumo, I know this is gonna be a cheap shot, but what da heck!
"pain in the *** - you would know best!" :D
For those who do not know sumo, - it's all in the name! (with no apologies to will!)
lol....don't think ive ever shopped with guys tht much...they just stood around lookin dead bored(this was shoppin fr jewellery on linking road, so maybe i get their boredom)hehe brat would agree tht he hasn't got the best clothes when the females of the house went shoppin for him...
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