Ten things I.....
My observations on Bushland:
1. American English is not an invention of Microsoft, it is a reality. It is a language which has a unique alphabet, where the letters "G" and "J" are indistinguishable. This is proven by the fact that every time I spell out my last name for them, the first letter they type/write/repeat is invariably "G"
2. America is the world's first country to be inhabited by non-humans. It is a country designed for and ruled by the automobile. To imagine America, imagine a huge parking lot with people and trees randomly thrown in.
3. There are infinitely more laptops than laps in this country.
4. America runs on Gas(sic)
5. The pedestrian signals were designed by someone who obviously ran as fast as Carl Lewis. It is humanly impossible to cross the roads in the duration of time the pedestrian light stays green.
6. America is redefining the world - literally. It is singularly impossible to find out news about any other country on Earth by watching the news channels here. In fact, it is equally impossible to find out anything about the country itself. George Bush isn't idiotic, he's simply doing the best he can with the information given to him.
7. Outside of New York, public transportation is a sham. It is possible to get directions even to the loo, but it will have to be by car!
8. Americans are probably from Australia. This is borne out by the fact that they generally jog at 2 a.m. in the mornings, and the colder it gets, the fewer clothes they wear while doing so.
9. There is an entire time zone in America which no one cares about. It may or may not exist, I don't know. There have been rumours of people going to the Dakotas, but, as someone said, no one cares about the Dakotas anyway!
10. Schedule (Skedule) is the most annoying word in the English Language.
10.
1. American English is not an invention of Microsoft, it is a reality. It is a language which has a unique alphabet, where the letters "G" and "J" are indistinguishable. This is proven by the fact that every time I spell out my last name for them, the first letter they type/write/repeat is invariably "G"
2. America is the world's first country to be inhabited by non-humans. It is a country designed for and ruled by the automobile. To imagine America, imagine a huge parking lot with people and trees randomly thrown in.
3. There are infinitely more laptops than laps in this country.
4. America runs on Gas(sic)
5. The pedestrian signals were designed by someone who obviously ran as fast as Carl Lewis. It is humanly impossible to cross the roads in the duration of time the pedestrian light stays green.
6. America is redefining the world - literally. It is singularly impossible to find out news about any other country on Earth by watching the news channels here. In fact, it is equally impossible to find out anything about the country itself. George Bush isn't idiotic, he's simply doing the best he can with the information given to him.
7. Outside of New York, public transportation is a sham. It is possible to get directions even to the loo, but it will have to be by car!
8. Americans are probably from Australia. This is borne out by the fact that they generally jog at 2 a.m. in the mornings, and the colder it gets, the fewer clothes they wear while doing so.
9. There is an entire time zone in America which no one cares about. It may or may not exist, I don't know. There have been rumours of people going to the Dakotas, but, as someone said, no one cares about the Dakotas anyway!
10. Schedule (Skedule) is the most annoying word in the English Language.
10.
posted by Firebringer at 1:41 PM
10 Comments:
nice...what does (sic) mean?
good one - i liked the one about how the news tells you NOTHING beyond your neighbour and the country that america is trying to americanize ( make it like their neighbourhood - for now it is Iraq!).
Honestly, the news here scared me out. Some time back i decided to watch the news after i came back from work just to get in synch with whats happening around - damn! all they tell about who was looted, who was murdered, who is been indicted, what house was on fire...and i m not kidding!. I stopped watching the news after a few days.
I still dont know for sure whether it is 'skedule' or 'shedule'
Also, a problem with the word 'issue'. The entire NDTV team says 'isyoo' while every other person says 'ishyoo'.
And afa the word 'dengue' is concerned, it is NOT 'dengyoo' but actually 'dengee'. And if anyone thinks i've written 'denjee' go boil your head!
lol i agree with the dengue pronounciation...and it's so weird bcoz cnn here ain't all tht bad but i guess it's more self-involved there.I'll know when u truly start soundin like a yank when you'll say "him a lay as" for himalayas!!
Totally agree! Methinks I should dig out some of my observations as well. For eg. the way English is spoken; is almost non-committal.
Question: What is the best way to do this thing?
Answer: I would do it this way.But you might want to do it that way.
Tell me, who asked you how you would do it? Also, 'You might want to do it...' isn't that grammatically incorrect?
More on the way!
Lakshmi
lol, i once did accidently mispronounce Himalayas as 'Him layas' and the geography teacher (Joshi) took me for a wannabe yank :-& and she gave me a sound lecture on being proud to be an indian...
sic in Latin means 'thus' or 'like this'. 'sic' is used while quoting some other piece of text to indicate that any mistake grammatical or otherwise in the quote was present in the original and the person quoting it has noted it and thus preempted didactic expositions on the language like this one. And coming to think of it I wonder if Bharat is using it appropriately here.
Write more, will you?
SKE-JULE is the american way
SHE-DULE is the brit way
SKE-DULE is the stupid indian way when you're confused which one to follow; sadly this version is heard commonly nowadays.
as for the mighty mountains, Him = snow, alay = abode. there is no need for the 's' at the end of it. ask any indian mountaineer and he/she will swear it should be written as "Himalaya" and not "Himalayas" - and the pronounciation follows.
hey, funny, im going with "shedule"
Post a Comment
<< Home