Yeh hai Bombay meri Jaan!

Finally - back home! One of the weirdest and best feelings you can have. Something like how Frodo must have felt when he returned to the Shire. Going back to college just made one feel a bit old. But the experience was awesome! Of course, one always wonders whether one has become too much of a firangi after a year away. Fortunately, a simple test sufices to examine the veracity of this accusation.

Location: The 8:47 Borivali fast from Churchgate to Bandra.

The scene: Dadar station has just gone by, and I'm standing on the wrong side for Bandra.

The atmosphere: When the science teacher explained that molecules are tightly packed in a solid - this is what she meant. The usual cliche about how jam packed it is in the second class general compartment.

The test: Within 4 minutes - have to get from one end of the train to another, getting to know many men rather more intimately than one would like. After a liberal amount of "Boss, zara side dena.", manage to make it to the other side.

Yes, I know you must be thinking, "Finally, I get the title of this blog!". But, honestly, there's nothing that construes an acid test of being a Bombayite than surviving the train journey. It's a "pleasure" few would miss - but it leaves you with the same feeling Hillary must have felt when he climbed Everest.

This and other things you miss about Bombay:

1) The loving smooch sound with which people call others they don't know
2) The ability to use the word "Boss" for anyone
3) Taxiwallahs not wanting to go where you go
4) People asking you to buy tickets for them after you've waited 25 minutes in a line.
5) Having to get off/on of a running bus.
6) The "Dus ka thees" waala
7) The lovely "terms of affection" people use for people who annoy them.
8) People popping out mobile phones in the middle of just about anywhere.
9) People who paint the town red.
10) The rain!

When you are tired of Bombay - you are tired of life....