A Few Quick Ones
Stories on and off the cricket field are always humorous. Here are some of my favorite ones:
1) Raman Subba Row had just dropped a sitter at slip off "Fiery" Fred Trueman, allowing it to go through his legs to the boundary. At the end of the over, as Trueman passed Illingworth, an understandably embarrassed Subba Row mumbled: "Sorry, Fred. I should've kept my legs together."
Never one at a loss for words, Fred shook his head and replied: "Not you, son; your mother, about 23 years back."
edited
2) This apprently happened in a county match, where the number 10 and the number 11 (universally acknowledged by their teammates as the worst batters and runners between wickets) were at the crease. Curiously enough, each of them had a runner. The Batsman on strike hit the ball, and was promptly off, forgetting all about his runner. His non striking partner, reciprocated , as did the dutiful runners. Pretty soon, all four were at the same end, and the keeper whipped the bails off at the other end. The square leg umpire walked up to them and said:
"One of you bastards is out. Decide which one, and go tell the scorers!"
3) This happened in Zimbabwe. A team, not finding enough players, decided to fill in the numbers with a few Rugby players, whose knowledge of cricket was rather woeful. On the final day of the match, the team was down to the last wicket, trying to save the game. An accomplished batsman, and the Rugby player were at the crease, with a few overs to go. The cricketer asked the rugby player to stay put at his end, count to six, and then run. The rugby player followed orders to the tee. With the last over to go, the cricketer was happy at a job well done. As the last ball was bowled, the cricketer stoutly defended it, and was preparing to walk off, when he found the rugby player at his end. He was run out by 22 yards.
4) The innumerable commentary gems:
"Welcome to Old Trafford, where you have just missed Barry Richards hitting X's balls out of the ground.
A comment during a bowling change:
"Captain Ray Illingworth is relieving himself at the pavilion end."
And of course, the piece of commentary which had mothers all over Britain ringing up the BBC, during an England- West Indies test match in the 1980s. The scene: Peter Willey - on strike, with "Whispering Death" Michael Holding running in to bowl.
The commentator:
"The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey." (sic)
1) Raman Subba Row had just dropped a sitter at slip off "Fiery" Fred Trueman, allowing it to go through his legs to the boundary. At the end of the over, as Trueman passed Illingworth, an understandably embarrassed Subba Row mumbled: "Sorry, Fred. I should've kept my legs together."
Never one at a loss for words, Fred shook his head and replied: "Not you, son; your mother, about 23 years back."
edited
2) This apprently happened in a county match, where the number 10 and the number 11 (universally acknowledged by their teammates as the worst batters and runners between wickets) were at the crease. Curiously enough, each of them had a runner. The Batsman on strike hit the ball, and was promptly off, forgetting all about his runner. His non striking partner, reciprocated , as did the dutiful runners. Pretty soon, all four were at the same end, and the keeper whipped the bails off at the other end. The square leg umpire walked up to them and said:
"One of you bastards is out. Decide which one, and go tell the scorers!"
3) This happened in Zimbabwe. A team, not finding enough players, decided to fill in the numbers with a few Rugby players, whose knowledge of cricket was rather woeful. On the final day of the match, the team was down to the last wicket, trying to save the game. An accomplished batsman, and the Rugby player were at the crease, with a few overs to go. The cricketer asked the rugby player to stay put at his end, count to six, and then run. The rugby player followed orders to the tee. With the last over to go, the cricketer was happy at a job well done. As the last ball was bowled, the cricketer stoutly defended it, and was preparing to walk off, when he found the rugby player at his end. He was run out by 22 yards.
4) The innumerable commentary gems:
"Welcome to Old Trafford, where you have just missed Barry Richards hitting X's balls out of the ground.
A comment during a bowling change:
"Captain Ray Illingworth is relieving himself at the pavilion end."
And of course, the piece of commentary which had mothers all over Britain ringing up the BBC, during an England- West Indies test match in the 1980s. The scene: Peter Willey - on strike, with "Whispering Death" Michael Holding running in to bowl.
The commentator:
"The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey." (sic)
posted by Firebringer at 7:56 PM
4 Comments:
Err, a bit of an anachronism in (1). I think it was Raman Subba Row, not Ray Illingworth.
And you left out the one about Eddo Brandes and McGrath? Ah well, family audience :D
updated it. Yeah, knew it was something with R - got confused.
What is the Brandes-McGrath one? can't remember. Didn't post the McGrath - Sarwan one. ;)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Hi Speedo. Most of it was in a TOI article ages back - (front page - bottom article). The Zimbabwe story was something Ian Chappel mentioned on the air.
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