Mergers & Acquisitions
With regards to this blog and this link that have inspired the style and content of this post.
No doubt emboldened by its successful monopolization of England's national game & more recently, the new English invention of the Twenty20, the BCCI has formally dissolved the Sri Lankan Cricket Board & has acquired rights to the national cricket team of Sri Lanka. "It was the next logical step in the expansion of cricket in the subcontinent", a senior board official was quoted as saying.
The decision has evoked sharp criticism in the broader cricketing community.
The association of cricketing statisticians has pointed out numerous problems that will arise as a result of this. "What will happen to the World Cup Semi-Final of 1996? Shall we treat it as a domestic game?", asked an aggrieved statistician.
The BCCI has, as usual, got its publicity machine in full swing, trying to smooth out the problems. "People always want to see the glass as half-empty", he said. "We prefer to see it as though the entire glass belongs to us".
"With this move, India would have 2 world cups under its belt", he pointed out, noting that this was the first time the BCCI would have contributed to an Indian World Cup victory. When someone pointed out that this would also mean that India would have lost the last 2 world cup finals to Australia, he responded by saying that appropriate action would be taken against those selectors, before realizing that they had already resigned a few months ago. A positive point, he said, would be that embarrassing selections of the past would be erased from memory. "We still can't figure out why Sunil Joshi or Noel David were picked. Thankfully, now, we won't have to", he said.
The government of India has also followed the lead of the cricket board & has suspended the Independence granted by the UK to Sri Lanka & amalgamated it into the Indian Union. "This was long overdue (sic.) geo-political move", a senior government official announced. "Since we all lie on the same tectonic plate, it is logical for us to unite", said the official, showing-off his knowledge of continental drift theory.
"The Sri Lankans have also shown an inability to govern themselves in areas where we are proficient. Had they been a part of us, then they too would have not toured Pakistan like us & not tossed cricket into turmoil. That was the last straw!", the official lamented.
The senior government official continued, "Now, since the conflict on the island is an internal matter, we can ask the news agencies to stop interfering in it. Also, we can grant statehood to the rebels without granting them nationhood, thus finding the middle path between the solutions posed by the rebels & the erstwhile government of Sri Lanka. Hence, we have also solved that conflict!",he triumphantly announced.
Not everyone was happy, though. Political parties in the state of Tamil Nadu have gone on hunger strike to protest the fact that now they have nothing to go on hunger strike against.
No doubt emboldened by its successful monopolization of England's national game & more recently, the new English invention of the Twenty20, the BCCI has formally dissolved the Sri Lankan Cricket Board & has acquired rights to the national cricket team of Sri Lanka. "It was the next logical step in the expansion of cricket in the subcontinent", a senior board official was quoted as saying.
The decision has evoked sharp criticism in the broader cricketing community.
The association of cricketing statisticians has pointed out numerous problems that will arise as a result of this. "What will happen to the World Cup Semi-Final of 1996? Shall we treat it as a domestic game?", asked an aggrieved statistician.
The BCCI has, as usual, got its publicity machine in full swing, trying to smooth out the problems. "People always want to see the glass as half-empty", he said. "We prefer to see it as though the entire glass belongs to us".
"With this move, India would have 2 world cups under its belt", he pointed out, noting that this was the first time the BCCI would have contributed to an Indian World Cup victory. When someone pointed out that this would also mean that India would have lost the last 2 world cup finals to Australia, he responded by saying that appropriate action would be taken against those selectors, before realizing that they had already resigned a few months ago. A positive point, he said, would be that embarrassing selections of the past would be erased from memory. "We still can't figure out why Sunil Joshi or Noel David were picked. Thankfully, now, we won't have to", he said.
The government of India has also followed the lead of the cricket board & has suspended the Independence granted by the UK to Sri Lanka & amalgamated it into the Indian Union. "This was long overdue (sic.) geo-political move", a senior government official announced. "Since we all lie on the same tectonic plate, it is logical for us to unite", said the official, showing-off his knowledge of continental drift theory.
"The Sri Lankans have also shown an inability to govern themselves in areas where we are proficient. Had they been a part of us, then they too would have not toured Pakistan like us & not tossed cricket into turmoil. That was the last straw!", the official lamented.
The senior government official continued, "Now, since the conflict on the island is an internal matter, we can ask the news agencies to stop interfering in it. Also, we can grant statehood to the rebels without granting them nationhood, thus finding the middle path between the solutions posed by the rebels & the erstwhile government of Sri Lanka. Hence, we have also solved that conflict!",he triumphantly announced.
Not everyone was happy, though. Political parties in the state of Tamil Nadu have gone on hunger strike to protest the fact that now they have nothing to go on hunger strike against.
posted by Firebringer at 2:04 PM
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