Reflections

India has been PJ free for the past 365 days for the first time since 1983. Here's what I've learnt over the past year:

1. It IS possible to do engineering without a xerox machine.

2. Men CAN cook.

3. It IS possible to get the right amount of salt in your food.

4. Weekends rock!

5. The NAND gate is truly a universal gate. (Unfortunately, only one person reading this blog will ever understand this)

6. Linux rocks!!!!!

7. There'll never be a cooler computer than an Apple.

8. America is essentially anything limited to a fifteen mile circular radius of a person living on the mainland United States (also see: Bush, George Walker)

9. I was wrong - Austin has one of the best public transportation systems on the planet.

10. Everything is bigger in Texas.

11. The population of the world is 6 billion. The population of Gujarat is 7 billion.

12. It's amazing the kind of crap people are willing to read on the Internet! (see: Lunacy, Inspired)

13. There is such a thing as the kindness of strangers.

14. You can't do without friends. You just can't!

15. Studying in the library during finals week is the best community feeling you can ever get.

16. Public transportation is essentially wasted in this country.

17. Darwin was right - I did evolve from an ape. (another esoteric joke)

18. I can yell at a higher pitch than most women.

19. There is no name in this world that Americans cannot screw up (except, maybe: "Seema")

20. Chinese, Japanese and Koreans do NOT look they same. In fact, they look very, very different!

21. Koreans are awesome people.

22. The American alphabet lacks the letter "J"

23. It is humanly possible to go without television for ages.

24. I can exist without sambhar.

25. There may never be a world community like Grad school in America - ever!

26. Never trust the US News Rankings.

27. There is Chinese food, Indian Chinese food and American Chinese Food, and never the twain shall meet.

28. Thai food is DELICIOUS!!!!!

29. If you want to know what the world looks at 2 a.m. in the morning - go to grad school. If you still want to know what the world looks like at 3 a.m. in the morning - have kids.

30. PG Wodehouse is God

31. American football is fun!

32. It is possible to survive watching only 1 cricket match in a year.

33. A laptop is not necessarily a luxury item.

34. You may suck at math, but learn to calculate 15 % of any number.

35. Without Italian food, graduate students would be extinct.

36. "Mmmm...hummmm" is an acceptable response to most queries.

37. There ar 37 shades of blonde.

38. There is a difference between looking "left, right and left again" and "right, left and right again" before crossing a road.

39. A horn is essentially something quiet that is found on a bull.

40. It is possible to speak for over 4000 minutes a month.

41. "To page this person, press 5 now....at the tone, record your message, when you are finished recording, hang up, or press 9 for more options" is the most popular greeting in America.

42. If you had stopped at number 20, you might still have retained your sanity.

A Few Quick Ones

Stories on and off the cricket field are always humorous. Here are some of my favorite ones:

1) Raman Subba Row had just dropped a sitter at slip off "Fiery" Fred Trueman, allowing it to go through his legs to the boundary. At the end of the over, as Trueman passed Illingworth, an understandably embarrassed Subba Row mumbled: "Sorry, Fred. I should've kept my legs together."

Never one at a loss for words, Fred shook his head and replied: "Not you, son; your mother, about 23 years back."

edited

2) This apprently happened in a county match, where the number 10 and the number 11 (universally acknowledged by their teammates as the worst batters and runners between wickets) were at the crease. Curiously enough, each of them had a runner. The Batsman on strike hit the ball, and was promptly off, forgetting all about his runner. His non striking partner, reciprocated , as did the dutiful runners. Pretty soon, all four were at the same end, and the keeper whipped the bails off at the other end. The square leg umpire walked up to them and said:
"One of you bastards is out. Decide which one, and go tell the scorers!"

3) This happened in Zimbabwe. A team, not finding enough players, decided to fill in the numbers with a few Rugby players, whose knowledge of cricket was rather woeful. On the final day of the match, the team was down to the last wicket, trying to save the game. An accomplished batsman, and the Rugby player were at the crease, with a few overs to go. The cricketer asked the rugby player to stay put at his end, count to six, and then run. The rugby player followed orders to the tee. With the last over to go, the cricketer was happy at a job well done. As the last ball was bowled, the cricketer stoutly defended it, and was preparing to walk off, when he found the rugby player at his end. He was run out by 22 yards.

4) The innumerable commentary gems:

"Welcome to Old Trafford, where you have just missed Barry Richards hitting X's balls out of the ground.

A comment during a bowling change:

"Captain Ray Illingworth is relieving himself at the pavilion end."

And of course, the piece of commentary which had mothers all over Britain ringing up the BBC, during an England- West Indies test match in the 1980s. The scene: Peter Willey - on strike, with "Whispering Death" Michael Holding running in to bowl.

The commentator:

"The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey." (sic)

What were they thinking?

Have seen many interesting signs. It just makes you wonder what they weren't thinking, or what they were.

1) On most Windows machines: "Keyboard not detected, press F1 to continue"



2) Advertisement for a burger joint:

"Drive Through. Legs and Thighs - normal or spicy"