Cricket, Football and "Football"

Being a cricket and football fan, it's pretty hard out here. But, taking a look at what's happening with the red devils this season, my current location may be the best place to be watching the beautiful game. 6th in the table with "Wigan Athletic" ahead of you is not what the doctor ordered. Can't see Fergie sticking around for much longer.

There seems to be a shake-up in the EPL, with former top table players like Arsenal and United stuck in mid table, and mid-table stragglers like Liverpool stuck towards the bottom, and last year's wonderboys Everton threatened with relegation.

Maybe it makes for a more competitive league - dunno, haven't seen any yet.

On the cricket front, with Sachin back in blazing form, it must be a treat to watch. Seems extremely mouth watering just looking at the scores. Am just wondering if Sachin is playing like he did in his 1994-1998 "devil-may-care" attitude, or are these scores the result of the more sedate, but effective approach. Personally, I'd prefer the first approach.

Yes, gridiron football is fun over here. But it does not make up for the sports back home. The main appeal lies in the fact that you get to watch these games right from the sidelines, and the high level of crowd involvement. "Gameday" is an event. People, some who have been following the team for 30-40 years take the day off and come with their families from miles away. There are barbecues and parties and a general carnival atmosphere throughout the day, which is infectious. You can't not be affected by it. (Unless you just hate sports).

And then there's the game itself - simply awesome!

Hmmm, let's hope we get some cricket here fast!

DST

They say that it takes a child to show you what the world looks like at 3 a.m. in the morning. They are wrong. Just enroll yourself at certain educational institutions. You'll know what the world looks like at 1,2,3,4 and every other time of the morning.

The only thing different about having kids is that you are woken up at 3 a.m., as opposed to being awake throughout. After pondering over this problem for a while, people came up with the idea of daylight savings time. "Simple!", they thought "if we HAVE to get up at 3 a.m., let's fool everyone into thinking it's 4 a.m.!"

However, I'm guessing the kids did not get fooled and ingeniously adapted their body clock to still wake them up at 3 a.m. I wouldn't know, though further research is going on in this area.

Anyways, we switch back from Daylight Savings soon.

Shangri-La

This weekend was one of the most beautiful times I have experienced. After a really horrible week last week, came friday, and a heaven sent invitation from a friend. After waking up on 10 a.m. on Thursday, and not sleeping a wink till around 45 minutes at 5 p.m. the next day (leaving aside class, of course), when a friend called me over to watch a movie and generally hang out, you'd think I'd be crazy to accept it, rather than S-L-E-E-P! But, I did - grabbed 45 mins of sleep and was off.

Thank God that I did! It was one of the most awesome times in Atlanta. Nice, crisp weather, good food (something that I have learnt to appreciate more and more after coming here), a good movie ("Seven Years in Tibet" - a must watch!), and, best of all, really awesome company! So, even though I finally knocked off only at 1:00 a.m. on Saturday morning, didn't feel a bit tired the entire time. One of those times that you wish would never end.....

Sleep.....huh? whassat?

It's been that kind of a week. managed 9 hours of sleep over 4 days. Sleep is highly overrated! Oh yeah - if anyone ever offers you a software job, kick them in the unmentionables, preferably with a spiked boot that has been soaking in some toxic waste. Spent 5 days working on a stupid piece of software that would generate random garbage in my code whenever it felt like it, and then had the gall to ask: "The file has changed, do you want to save it?" Spent 3 hours trying to fix a problem that was unfigureoutable, and then, I guess it must have realized that there shouldn't have been there in the first place, and decided to leave. aaaaaaaaarrrghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Man! I feel like a penguin!

Nope, not a parody on that Shania Twain song. It's kinda how it's been here lately. With "Fall" in full swing, temperatures are taking a nosedive. So, this is my way of dealing with the circumstances:

Long sleeved T-shirt below a Cardigan/Sweatshirt below a Windcheater(those thick ones), and I'm still freezing my a$$ off! Of course, the natives are still wandering about in their "loincloth" equivalents, staring at the penguin, maybe wondering if their turkey will look as stuffed at Thanksgiving!

To make things more interesting, someone at my department building has discovered the joys of digital logic!

Day 1
me: sans windcheater
temperature outside: cold
inside: air conditioning still on!!!!!!!

Day 2
me: penguin
temperature outside: collllld!
inside: blast furnace weather!

Therefore the day strated off with a mild striptease on my part. Which meant I had to carry the clothes all day. AAAAAARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

I........am the very model of a modern major general........

I just came across the first verse of this in our college newspaper. Been singing it to myself ever since. You musta heard it on many TV shows. Dunno the history behind it or anything, but it's fun!

ARTIST: Gilbert and Sullivan
TITLE: I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General
Lyrics


[Pirates of Penzance]

I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotepotenuse

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General

I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous

I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies
I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore

And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinapinafore

Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General

In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat"

When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee

You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a sat a gee

For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General

But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General

A whole lot of "maybe's"

It's as weird feeling over here after almost 3 months. It's actually hard to decscribe. You feel that each person is wrapped in their individual plastic bubble. There is contact, conversation etc., but there is no connection, no spark. It's like being stuck in a bad sitcom. Everybody knows what the joke is, and they'll laugh when it comes, but there is no mirth behind the laughter. There is just existence.

The worst part is, it doesn't feel wrong or anything, there is no feeling; if there is, it does not show. Maybe this is how it is on planet Vulcan. Maybe everyone has undergone some kind of mind control, yours truly included. Emotion could come bottled in a can for all we know.

Maybe this is part of a process of conditioning of the mind, or maybe its just homesickness, or maybe it's something I just do not have the perspective to describe. Maybe this is what all those weird 70s songs and surrealist paintings were about.

Perhaps it's just a phase.

On ESPN!

Yesterday was the 3rd home game. It was simply AWESOME! For the last 3 minutes, the crowd went WILD, as the jackets drove from the 50 yard line all the way to the 2 yard line! However, we mucked up the last play, and consequently lost 17-14.
If anyone had seen his game as their 1st "football" game, they would never want to miss it for anything.

Comment overherd during the game:

An NCSU (the "Wolfpack") fan was right in the midst of us yellow jackets and was cheering wildly. He had the wolf mask on, which he removed briefly to celebrate.
An old lady - a Jacket fan, promptly quipped, "Hey, put the mask back on! You're scaring me!" :D

As a personal highlight, I came up on the big screen in the stadium (which also means I made it onto ESPN!!!!!). The Jackets mascot - "Buzz" climbed into the stands right next to me and was standing near me. So, obviously, the camera focussed on him - and caught me in its net ! :D

Man, our boys have heart!

S.S.

This is a real short S.S. (short story) Well, I've been tagged by Ranjitha.
Let's see if this works.

Mulder was perplexed. He stared at the piece of paper in front of him. In spite of his experiences with the X-files, he had never come across such an unexplainable problem. Maybe this was yet another experience modern day science could not eplain, maybe it was a new alien conspiracy.

Scully leaned over, took one look at it, and said, "You blasted twit, you forgot to carry the four!"

(70)

A view of the future

This is an article that appeared in "Khabar" - an Asian Indian Magazine here in Atlanta. Pretty awesome!

Indian English: It Vill Be Wery Helpful, Yaar!

Lighter Side

It is the year 2020 and call centers are opening all over the West, as India, the new economic power, outsources work to the countries where many jobs originated. Millions of Americans, still struggling to adapt to a global economy, are willing to accept jobs that pay them in a new currency sweeping much of the world: EuRupees.

Some of them, eager to land one of the customer service jobs from India, are attending special training sessions in New York City, led by language specialist Dave Ramsey, who goes by a simpler name for his Indian clients: Devendra Ramaswaminathan.

On this warm afternoon, the professor is teaching three ambitious students how to communicate with Indian customers. “Okay, Gary, Randy and Jane, first we need to give you Indian names. Gary, from now on, you’ll be known to your customers as Gaurav. Randy, you’ll be Ranjit. And Jane, you’ll be Jagadamba. Now imagine you just received a call from Delhi. What do you say?”

Gary: “Name as tea?”
Professor: “I think you mean ‘namaste.’ Very good. But what do you say after that?”
Gary: “How can I help you?”
Professor: “You’re on the right track. Anyone else?”
Jane: “How can I be helping you?”
Professor: “Good try! You’re using the correct tense, but it’s not quite right. Anyone else?”
Randy: “How I can be helping you?”

Professor: “Wonderful! Word order is very important. Okay, let’s try some small talk. Give me a comment that would help you make a connection with your Indian customers.”
Randy: “It’s really hot, isn’t it?”
Professor: “The heat is always a good topic, but you haven’t phrased it correctly. Try again.”
Randy: “It’s deadly hot, isn’t it?”
Professor: “That’s better. But your tag question can be greatly improved.”
Randy: “It’s deadly hot, no?”
Professor: “Wonderful! You can put ‘no?’ at the end of almost any statement. You are understanding me, no?”
Jane: “Yes, we are understanding you, no?”

Professor (smiles): “We may need to review this later. But let’s move on to other things. Have you ever heard Indians use the word ‘yaar’?”
Randy: “Yes, my Indian friends use it all the time. Just last night, one of them said to me, ‘Randy, give me yaar password. I am needing it to fix yaar computer.”
Professor (laughs): “That’s a different ‘yaar,’ yaar. The ‘yaar’ that I’m talking about means friend or buddy. You can use it if you’ve developed a camaraderie with a customer. For example, you can say, ‘Come on, yaar. I am offering you the best deal.’ Do you understand, Jagadamba?”
Jane: “Yaar, I do.”

Professor (smiles): “Okay, let’s talk about accents. If your client says 'I yam wery vorried about vat I bought for my vife,' how would you respond?"
Randy: "Please don't be vorrying, yaar. She vill be wery happy and vill give you a vild time tonight."
Professor: “Vunderful! I mean, wonderful. You have a bright future, Ranjit. And so do you, Jagadamba. But Gaurav, you haven’t said anything in a while. Do you have any questions about what we’ve just learned?”
Gary: “Yes, Professor, I do have one question: Wouldn’t it be simpler to learn to speak Hindi?”

The Evolution of Technology

Evolution is a marvellous thing. You really appreciate this, especially if you deal with computers. For those who came in late, this is how the story goes: Billions of years ago, in the 1940s, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, people developed electronic computers. Then appeared the PC with its command line interface. A big, black screen with little white characters - very un-user friendly. Then came Mr. Bill Gates who popularised the concept of the Graphic User Interface. Everybody loved this. It made the computer accessible to the masses. So, what would be the next logical step? Something better than GUI, something to make work easier? No! Why? Because that would make sense!

There were people in low places who decided that the nerds would have their revenge! How dare humanity rob us of our rights as a geek! Sacrilege! Unfortunately, these people also had power. They probably had worse hair styles than Mr. Gates, but I digress by talking about things which are not directly related to the issue on hand. That, by the way is called procrastination.

So, these people with bad hair styles decided that they would convince the world that they must return to the command line interface and also that this was a good thing! Somehow, they succeeded, at least on the professional front.

Therefore, today we have to use the Linux command line interface. The work which we could have accomplished in 1 hour with GUI, we accomplish in 8 hours, and the loss of a saturday. However, remember, this is a good thing. You have more control over what you do. You have more instructions to play around with. Many more ways in which you can screw up, so that these people with the bad hairstyles can laugh esoterically as you scour the internet trying to look for solutions for questions which people have been asking for years.

This is good for the economy, so these people can get better hairstyles. However, that's not going to happen anytime soon, because of the problem with beauty parlours (see earlier post)

Evolution is a marvellous thing!